"What if I chase you around the desk?" asked the would-be boss. I had just taken 3 buses to this interview to find no other people but this man. As always, other women said "He must have a crush." How casually our complaints have been regarded - often by women employers, friends, acquaintances, police. Should we be surprised that so many of us have been harassed, stalked, and assaulted - not only by employers, but by strangers, neighbors, even friends' husbands.
Other women have often been complicit. Jennifer Lawrence says a woman made her pose nude and told her to lose weight. So Jennifer questioned a man in the industry who assured her she was fine as she was.
I was fortunate to have a mother who didn't ask questions when as a teen I called and woke her several times to come get me after I escaped one guy or another who got out of control. I wish my women friends, other relatives, and the police could have been as understanding when I was followed, harassed, sent inappropriate notes, and accosted by men I had only met casually, or strangers, neighbors, and even the husbands of close friends.
The indifference of women, in particular, has troubled me deeply. Some have said it has been my fault if some men followed or harassed, or sent disturbing notes to me. After a dear friend told me that I led one harasser on, she and I didn't speak again for years.
Other women have told me it wouldn't happen to them, so it must be something wrong with me - that I seem vulnerable - and always that I caused the strangers' inneundoes, harassment, stalking, abuse.
If nothing else, "MeToo" gives us the relief of expressing what we've often silently endured. And perhaps it will help us see the universality of our experience, and encourage us to support each other in coping with the oppression we encounter throughout our lives...at least for awhile until the population forgets and moves on....
Other women have often been complicit. Jennifer Lawrence says a woman made her pose nude and told her to lose weight. So Jennifer questioned a man in the industry who assured her she was fine as she was.
I was fortunate to have a mother who didn't ask questions when as a teen I called and woke her several times to come get me after I escaped one guy or another who got out of control. I wish my women friends, other relatives, and the police could have been as understanding when I was followed, harassed, sent inappropriate notes, and accosted by men I had only met casually, or strangers, neighbors, and even the husbands of close friends.
The indifference of women, in particular, has troubled me deeply. Some have said it has been my fault if some men followed or harassed, or sent disturbing notes to me. After a dear friend told me that I led one harasser on, she and I didn't speak again for years.
Other women have told me it wouldn't happen to them, so it must be something wrong with me - that I seem vulnerable - and always that I caused the strangers' inneundoes, harassment, stalking, abuse.
If nothing else, "MeToo" gives us the relief of expressing what we've often silently endured. And perhaps it will help us see the universality of our experience, and encourage us to support each other in coping with the oppression we encounter throughout our lives...at least for awhile until the population forgets and moves on....
